Kalki - The life and times of an Indian transwoman..

A journey towards knowledge, humanity, love and dignity..

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The Extremes of it all... and a little sadness
10.22.07 (11:02 am)   [edit]
I am open hearted and love people. Thats makes me easy to make friends. But if people show hatred towards me, I try to know why. That isn't easy for me being a transgendered woman. I love the simple village folks with clean hearts rather than the educated, narrow minded urban city dwellers.

Sometimes even some people whom I would love to be close and respect try to take advantage of me. Last night, I had many horror dream sequences. I felt sad. Am I doing a mistake by being open and friendly with people regardless of their gender and social status? It is easy for me to understand both men and women. That is a blessing, at the same time I see that both the sexes have reservations and a border that differentiates them. I have no boundaries or border. But people do expect me to behave in certain ways. I don't know how to.

I don't do anything wrong.I don't hurt people. Yet, why am I being treated sometimes this way? I don't want to pity myself. I am just plainly confused and a little sad about people's attitude. It is a world of 2 sexes. And somebody beyond that is 'Abnormal'. Extreme boldness, extreme honesty, extreme courage, extreme love is also 'Abnormal'. I see the narrowness in this. I will do what I can to change this rather than be a spectator.
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In December I may be on the streets and that is exciting!
10.20.07 (12:15 pm)   [edit]
In December this year, I may have to move out of the house I am living now since the owner and friend Mauro comes back. Then what do I do? I have no where to go I guess. The New land may not suit me because it is not safe and there are no facilities (no shower most importantly). And Auroville has been struggling with Housing needs.

I am not even an Aurovillian yet and the Housing Board can not help me. Hey, Faith can. I believe, I will definitely have a house again. A beautiful one. I don't know how, when and who will give me. But I believe I will get one.

It is exciting for me to know that my life is unpredictable.

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